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If we want to taste happiness, we also have to give it to others


Today, my friend said something beautiful: “The most precious thing I have learned in life, can fit into one sentence. Never give up on people who gave you smile even when you deserve that they turn their back to you.” When you help people who mess up, hurt you, with a smile and forgiveness, you actually confirm you understand their reasons and show your own humanity. You thereby show your greatness, the best part of yourself, inspired by the divine nature. It does not say in vain: “To err is human, to forgive divine.” Even if in some areas your behavior is not always exemplary, with forgiveness and understanding the others, you help yourself and your personal growth.

People have become hypersensitive, definitely. Poor in forgiving, they easy burst out, the are hard in forgeting, get quickly offended and stop giving new opportunities. Sometimes they do not give them at all. People nowadays ask so much from one another and give back so little. There are those who give themselves too much, much more that is expected from them and so they blame others for insensitivity. That is not good. Such people can not withstand the pressure of the disadvantaged, working and personal environment, more difficult, more complicates relationship or marriage. Not all can be adjusted to them. They are the ones who have to harden. Learn to fight. To accept this life as a reality, not a soap opera or a fairy tale.

 

I watch them every day, I want to tell them that I was very sensitive, too. It cost me; my life, time, money and health. Nothing good came from too much sensitivity. But that is why a lot of good, great came out of giving. Life loves fighters and is not plucked with roses. Life loves you when you are good and returns good on some plan, but you have to be patient. Life loves when you walk through the thorns because that is how you show your faith and strength, and when you come finally to “fragrant, flower fields”, everything seems meaningful, bigger and more valuable.

Am I overreacting? I do not think so, I’m very realistic. After all, did not my friend recently said in his post: “Croatia today – moneyless, uneducated, indignant, ignorant, mischievous,” and did not my friend  mention the other day day that we can only pull through if we are together and help each other. Sadly, the love for man has weakened, and that love is the one which is the foundation of every progress. Interesting idea, but how far are people willing to help someone today, unselfishly, unburdened by their interests and personal gains?

Another of those dates is approaching, which reminds us of the greatness of love. To be completely honest,  I am sick of all that fuss surrounding Valentine’s Day and all other various holidays that should celebrate the love for man in general. Most people are not honest and will do everything to gain a fan and a buyer for themselves, and on those days they will send you love of interest. You can judge a person by little things he does for others, as well by his (bad) intentions. A person who loves another person does not have to emphasize constantly and throw in other’s people faces. A person confirms his or hers actions with thoughts, words and intentions. If you carry heavy bags for some old lady who can barely walk  across the street once, twice or even three times, you are not altruistic by default. You are not immediately altruistic, if you give a little bit of your time to another man, listen to him and advise him. You’re not a benefactor right away as soon as you give some cash in a cafe or a donation in public. You are altruistic when you all these things confirm with daily actions and you give yourself to others in small and big things. You are altruist when you’re happy to share and help on a daily basis. And when you do it from gratitude to God, if you believe in always think about it, “When God gives you plenty, you need to give back even more.”

By doing so you show that you are in love with this life, that you love life in general. When our conscience tell us that we should do some good thing, there is a chance to show goodness and do something good for ourselves, too. In every situation we find ourselves in, we can hear the voice: “Be good, help him / her,” but sometimes we do not react to it. Why is that so?

Almost at the same time when the beautiful thoughts, or our conscience come in center, there comes an ego that does not approve of our beautiful, good action and reminds us that we do not have time for others and that we need to think about ourselves, set priorities in our lives, and do everything to make us good, even better than the others. Ego reminds us that we should satisfy ourselves, not others. He asks why we want to help the whole world and answer us from good actions. Our social interactions are stimulated by the hormone oxytocin, and when the conscience is satisfied, we are overwhelmed with sense of happiness and satisfaction, again, under the influence of hormones. The dynamics of brain activity, amplified, suggests altruistic behavior, but also engages in fun. Endorphin is growing stronger because of interaction with people, and the person that we do good returns back with happiness and pleasure, which has positive influence on us.

Whether we are doing little or big things to others, whether we try to laugh dissatisfied ones, sick, unhappy, donate to help people in need, lend our earnings to various creative or educational institutions, doing good things always encouragesour personal and the joy of others because we are aware, that only with joining forces everything is easier to achieve. When we go hand in hand with someone, everything gets easier. Readiness to helping others is worthwhile, but some people persistently refuse to accept it. Helping, in spite of everything, is in human nature. By helping each other, we managed to maintain the humankind, but it was not easy, because of various influences, through history, but also on a personal level, from childhood to maturity. From all sides people without faith and will are trying to poke us: “It is not worth to be good,” “You will not help him, right?”, “He does not deserve help.” How many times have you heard such and similar statements? How many times did you become deaf to the conscience and relied on the advice of villains?

If you have learned in childhood that people should be respected, do good in life, help and share, you are likely to act in maturity according to the learned. If our parents are hostile to other people, they underestimate them, do not want to help them, and they only see negativities in the world, it is quite possible that we will adopt such a pattern of behavior ourselves. How long will it take for us to start looking at things with different eyes! How much our faith in action and good outcome is strong, we are happier and willing to help others.

Various studies have confirmed that our activity is influenced by various circumstances, so by introducing larger transmitter doses, people become more generous. Various studies have been performed by measuring of the brain activity of the subjects, and the results have indicated that some activities can be predicted. For example, the highest cerebral activity was measured in those who chose a fair distribution of some property, while non-altruists measured the highest brain activity in times of unfair distribution of money. Research also suggested that it is better to give to those who have less, if they let us know and that we all have an ethical awareness, but not all of us use it, or we do not all act accordingly.

Some people are not ready to take responsibility for a quality relationship, they simply do not want to. They are not in the mood for it and intentionally refuse to cooperate for various reasons. They do not believe if they are helping someone, they are helping themselves. It is funny to them that only if they offer help others they can expect that others will come to their aid. They do not see and do not believe that good returns with good in some form, like simple “Thank you”, with smile, good friends, reputation, self-care, or such gifts they considers as worthless. Some of them intentionally ignore conscience. They deliberately do not want to relax and leave themselves to the flow of love.
But, no matter how much they provide resistance to friendship and love, the laws of life do not bypass anyone. If we want to taste the happiness, we also have to give it to others. The most important things are our intentions.

Those intentions always have to be good and always have to create happiness. Every time we give  ourselves to somebody or some of our services, by the natural circle of things, we keep the circle of abundance in life. Every time we want to be happy, we have to make others happy. Everything in life should go unharmed in order not to lose the force of life, and in order to taste success, we have to help others to achieve their goals. When you become grateful for everything you have, gifts start to come like material goods, money, and nice words.

Today, my friend said something beautiful: “The most precious thing I have learned in life, can fit into one sentence. Never give up on people who gave you smile even when you deserve that they turn their back to you.” When you help people who mess up, hurt you, with a smile and forgiveness, you actually confirm you understand their reasons and show your own humanity. You thereby show your greatness, the best part of yourself, inspired by the divine nature. It does not say in vain: “To err is human, to forgive divine.” Even if in some areas your behavior is not always exemplary, with forgiveness and understanding the others, you help yourself and your personal growth.

And why would I grow up, you might be wondering, disappointed with some relationships and experiences. “Do it to others the way you want them to do to you”, “You will be measure by the measure you measure.” These are just some of the life messages and instructions, which reminds us that we are responsible for everything that is happening to us. Even if you do not believe in them, you will surely be convinced that some things will become worthwhile.  Helping others is in human nature and just as they get into conflicts and become frustrated for a variety of reasons, so do the same people help each other. Helping others is a powerful motivation and encourages our internal mechanisms in order to develop a better personality. You can not get anything if you do not give something in return. Or even the same ?! How do you like this idea?

 

Deepak Chopra says: “Give it and you shall be given! We must not hinder the intelligence of nature and its flows. Only with the willingness to give what we want, we encourage circling of abundantly through our lives.” Leo Tolstoy wrote: “Good you do to others, you always do for yourself. ” There is Chinese saying that helping others, enriches the poor, too. Many wise people, spiritual teachers and religions talk about giving, in order to receive. This idea has been alive for thousands of years and it has proved to be very fair. And you still wonder to give yourself or not to give? To help or not to help? If you believe in the law of giving, which Chopra explains: “If you wish joy, give joy to others; if you want love, learn to give it; if you want to be appreciated, just give appreciation to others; if you want material gain, help others to become rich. In fact, the easiest way to get what you wish is to help others get what they want! “, in your life could finally so many wonderful things could happen, you’ve long wanted. Given the many beautiful experiences that you hear and see around you, it’s worth trying, is not it?

 

foto: Askideas.com, pinterest.com, Happiness platform

 

Nives Stepinac Grgurić ( pseudonim Nives Stern) autorica je velikog broja članaka na fashion & lifestyle stranicama marla-design.com i whattafashion.com, na kojima obrađuje teme vezane uz modu i lifestyle, međuljudske odnose. Kao kolumnistica na portalu portaloko.hr obrađuje također teme iz spomenutih područja. U vezi suradnje i poslovnih ponuda molimo ostvarite kontakt putem obrasca na marla.com.hr

Posted by on Dec 13 . Filed under Kolumna by Nives. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. You can leave a response or trackback to this entry

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