What should that mean? You’re almost as nervous as signing a big business-contract. Listening to your body’s signals you soon notice tension, but also a wave of frustrations, which you cannot get rid of even at home.
You are conscious that every job becomes routine with time. To make it more interesting, it needs more dynamic, take some risk, so give yourself a goal every day. Think of a new project, promotion and decide guidelines for your future. What keeps you on that job, what is the thing that matters? Money? Employment security? Working atmosphere? Answer yourself on those questions.
Some researches say that people unsatisfied with their work don’t have good relations even at home. People talk a lot of connection between business and personal so you might have asked yourself “What’s love gotta do with it?”.
Our business relationships work in the same way as our private ones.
Responsible and hard working, loyal workers, are often like that as partners. When relationships become a routine with time, they also need some changes, refresh them, exactly like in our work environment. At work, just like in life, you get as much as you put in it. It works the same even with big companies as well as with a copying machine. At work, just like in life, we think about how much something has put us off track, we’re getting dilemmas if to ask friends for their opinion or find our own solution. Professional deformation isn’t only a term; we bring this phenomenon into our everyday life. It is also very known the change of personality trough work, which is also manifesting in our everyday life.
A lot of people are unlucky both in love and work. Work, but also relationships exhaust them. They’re exhausted by business relationships, with colleagues, but the private ones exhaust them as well. What’s going on, they will wonder often.
Love has a lot to do with it, and the reason for this chaos is often hidden in them. The experts advise to separate business from personal by taking a walk with your partner in the evening, dedicate him some time and don’t speak about the work or simply- kiss.
The question “What’s love gotta do with it?” gets a lot of answers that way. Love makes life exciting, and the work as well. Butterflies in the stomach you also feel in front of an interesting project, challenge and the rush of dopamine activates creativity. Productive pleasant atmosphere can help even to an angry colleague!
Regarding to that, love affairs at work are not advised because they often interfere with projects and tense relations between partners can destroy them and bring damage to the company. If you have a fight with your partner you need to know that the collaboration must continue, no matter what. In business there are no emotions and decisions should be made “cold-headedly”, so it is advised to change work if it comes to overflow of emotions at work. If you live and work together, avoid talking about business in the evening and dedicate to each other.
A lot of researches say that only 60% people is loyal at work and this is also a connection with private life. Try to remove the mistakes in the beginning, avoid to raise your tone or finger, bring more tolerance to your relationships, pack the critic carefully and clear everything face to face and suggest the ideas in the same way. All of this will help to bring harmony in business and personal surroundings. In the company don’t talk about the company, but only with reliable friends and the same stands for private life as well.
How and how much does being in love and relationship affects work and what are the traps I asked my friends asking them the same questions. This is what they think about this topic!
If an opportunity comes to you for a relationship at work, with a colleague of yours, would you accept it? What do you think in general about these things at work? How much do they influence work and does work influence private life and how much?
“Great question and very delicate topic. Honestly, I wouldn’t get into this kind of relationship, because I think that with time it only makes life more complicated. I think it’s much better for 2 people who love each other to function independently, everyone with their own job and dedicate to each other maximum in their free time.
Relationship at work, especially a love affair, suits maybe better to “cold-headed” people, people that can control their emotions. As I am not one of those people, it would be very difficult for me neither to carry on a relationship like this nor to see myself in one. Those kinds of relationships surely start to influence both quality of business and personal life with time. In most of the cases people bring both the good and the bad sides of their work home and it’s difficult to separate those two worlds. The reasonable mind should be in control here. In today’s frenetic tempo of living everyone should just switch of after work, dedicate to themselves and fill out the time with peace, love and happiness.
To live in the truth with myself and with the person I love is priceless for me.”- Ivan Mastermix, DJ and producer
“The act alone of liking someone is very possible in every place, in every moment, even on a working place. We are people made out of blood and flesh and this “chemistry” between two people happens very easy. I personally think that it is not smart entering in an intimate relationship with someone at work. I always avoided opportunities like those. Unfortunately in these times, it looks like people don’t have the power or capability to separate business from personal. Because of that, one side is always suffering. If we fight at home, we surely won’t function normally at work, and in most cases is like that, rare are those who manage to fight it. And so I think it is better not to bring work on thin ice because of the emotions, and viceversa. It is better to find a soul mate outside of the company and to go to work and back with no headache. Partners shouldn’t stress each other with business problems, it’s business and it should stay inside of the company, because in a relationship everyone takes everything emotional and personal. That won’t mean you love that person less, it just means no matter the fact that people are in relationships which make a community, everyone should have a personal space in which to worry by themselves.”- Igor Jagic, model and blogger from Belgrade.
“I’m thinking about how I would deal with it. To work at night with a young, doctor colleague. Big city hospital. Silence in the room. Who would resist the hands of a young, irresistible man?! I am the first person that should rethink it a couple of times. How strong should I be to resist? Still today there are negative views on “office love affairs”. No matter if it’s sex, affair, fling or true love, everyone gets grouchy about it. The views on it haven’t changed since last century. In some companies there are even contractual restrains for “office flings” to avoid negative consequences and losses. But, who can defeat human nature? And what is smarter, to surrender or to resist? I think, regardless of negative opinion, that it can be motivational. Going to work stops being nauseous. You try harder and the results are better. Nothing is difficult and you shine bright. Anyone who ever tried love at work is in a far better position than other people, unprepared for that risk. Working colleagues entangled in a love net can almost be ideal partners. Professional interests in common can be very positive in future relationships. But the ones that are hit by the Cupid dart should also keep in mind that exaggeration could bore you easily. Someone can lose in this long ride. There are no more secrets and the satisfaction of going home or even to bed stops. If love falls in water, it can cause you serious problems.. From ignoring your work chores, non-collaboration, conflicts and fights, which is the worst combination for the company you work at. It endangers healthy working climate. Smart heads avoid bad situations; learn to keep their own freedom and personal interests. Others that cannot handle loss turn their business life into chaos.
In private life they cannot find peace. In high school I’ve learnt that without risk there is no success and I still think this way, especially when I remember the imaginary person from the beginning of my discussion.. young doctor… silence in the room, and chemistry can be felt by fingers…”, explains young business woman, Silvija Poljak Kujundžić.
On my question, his opinion said also the young model and TV presenter from Novi Sad, Aleksandar Jankov:
“I don’t think I would. But, I’ve never been in a situation like this so I am not really competent to comment this topic. When we’re discussing love, it is most definitely a “game without borders” and none of us can know when the Amor dart will hit. We cannot control our emotions, they are either woken up or not, but the combination of work and love can indeed be a two-bladed sword. I don’t know, but I think I would not accept this combination, although I repeat, you never know. If everything would match, it can bring you new adventures, enthusiasm, new victories and accomplishments. It’s not said for nothing that love heals everything and helps in everything, but there is also the other side of the story, which can be unfortunate. What if your partner starts to be obsessive, possessive, etc..? It is a bit complicated indeed and if I am already asked for my opinion, I think it is not ok to “make love” at work. It is easier and nicer to separate those two things.
Love relationship certainly affects all segments of life. As much as a lot of people deny it, I think when love is awaken in a person, it starts a “new era” for him/her. Healthy emotional relationship should affect positively to people, to motivate them, “rewards with success”, while business sphere should fulfill you in a different way. It fulfills the need for power, brings you different kind of satisfaction. My personal opinion is: don’t mix “frogs and grandmas” 😀 😀 :D, in this case work and love. Better to enjoy separately in those “things” than to “straighten the narrow lines”.
“The most often kind of relationship at work is an incredible sexual attraction. Those kind of relationships are usually short termed, until the passion is satiated, and then it turns off spontaneously. If the players of this kind of game don’t have partners, than it is no different at all than the “out-of-work” kind of games. Think about if the feelings toward your colleague are real and persistent and is it really worth it to enter in this relationship, keeping in mind its possible affect on work. If you are entering in unserious flirts or short-term relationships with colleagues, and especially if they fell hurt and used after it, it definitely cannot affect positively your working relationship.
Crushes and butterflies in the stomach are one thing and are mostly not worth of getting into an adventure at work, but if you’ve realized it is more that a passing fling and there are serious feelings between the two of you it is a completely different thing. In that case you will probably have to find a way to make it work, despite the fact that you are colleagues. When it happens, being open and sincere is ok but people are not always on their best intentions so be careful who to be confident with if it’s still a secret, but it’s not like you have to make a big deal out of it.
We are conscious of the saying “love has no borders” but you’re going to have to make them. So be honest but also moderate.”, explains Marko Goreta, young businessman.
“Judging by my friend and friends of my friends confessions, and not having my own experience in this question, I came to the conclusion that intimate, sexual or love relationships between 2 business colleagues are destined to a disaster. Why? The beginning of the relationship is not problematic, not it’s going, everyone who was ever in this kind of relationship will tell you all of their adventures in locked offices and sexual escapades on office desks, floors, flexible armchairs and all different kind of surfaces for practicing sexual skills. Of course, we are speaking here of secret and forbidden encounters, and it’s way of functioning gives them immeasurable level of adrenalin that doesn’t exist in “regular” relationships. Secret relationship, hidden looks full of silent signs, accidental touch of main actors surrounded by colleagues that have no idea about it, give the most exciting spice to this kind of relationship. The problem arrives when the spices starts losing its intensity and loses all the main components. As we women mostly care to the expression of feelings, which often doesn’t exist in this sort of relationships, it soon comes to a questioning phase, demanding this and that and false accusation, the man whose taste of this kind of relationship was sweet, now becomes sour. If by any chance we are talking about woman who gets tired of lies and infantile behavior of the colleague she’s dating, like in my friends’ case, after a while all she sees in her, in this case, boss, is a man with too many gray hairs, rude manners and incompetent at his managing position. And, my friend will say with a compassionate and playful smile on her face, pretty incompetent in bed as well. Sorry, on office floor and desk as well. As the Englishmen would say: he couldn’t perform.”, explains to me my dear friend and collaborator Durica.
As you can see, the opinions are divided about the topic of mixing love and work, but one thing is for sure, if you collaborate and work together as partners or not, you will hardly reach the highs on work if your private life is low!
Translation: Anita Pavičić
Please let me know your thoughts by commenting below. Thanks for reading.
Nives Stepinac Grgurić (pseudonym Nives Stern) is a freelance writer, columnist and the author of many articles in the area fashion, lifestyle and relationships for fashion portals, blogs and magazines. For more texts and info please visit writer’s page Nives-Stern.
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